My approach is to be human, accessible, to share insight, to reflect on things with you, to consider the origins of behaviour and relational dynamics and see when, where and why they might be getting in your way or assisting you. It's very much a collaborative process therapy, it can be a wonderful human alchemy, but I cannot do it without you bringing your honesty and your engagement, it's us not me. We build something, it will be safe, but I will also challenge you where it might be needed, if it's needed. I am always on your team, and if I work with couples, I always spend time individually with each member of the couple (or more if there's polyamory) to get to know each of those involved, and then we also work together. There is no rigidity to how I work, there are boundaries of course, but ultimately it's vital to adapt to the needs of those in front of you with a focus always on what is in service of the best outcome.
I walk with some of my clients, it's a fundamental part of how I work and what I offer, not everyone wants to work outside, some never want to work inside, for others we blend. The story of your process is mapped by the geography and the seasons, it's a nice reference point for the changes that might manifest over our time together.
I still find therapy baffling that 50 minutes with a stranger can help create evolution, but my own outcome and others has taught me it does not need to make sense to work. But equally how often in life do we receive or give our divided attention to understanding who we are and how we became like that and consider how we might evolve in healthy and authentic ways to allow us to feel happier, and lighter in the world.
Firstly I am a fully qualified Integrative Psychotherapist with an MA, and Advanced Diploma. I did an additional qualification for 2 years in Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy and my practice now also has a real focus on Couples, Individuals and Relationships. I work with adults so it makes sense where it is relevant sex and relationships need to be understood and talked about, they often sit at the centre of your happiness.
I encourage people to pick up the phone and speak to me, because therapy is a relationship, you need to feel safe with me, comfortable to talk about uncomfortable things, and there needs to be trust, even if it's something you struggle with. It takes time, but don't be scared about that, I am not the therapist who wants you to still be working with me in a decade (unless that's what you want/need). I will always flag when I think we are ready to end our work. This podcast with video can give you a flavour of my work with couples and relationships https://open.spotify.com/episode/4MQyGMMLgiL3PpUpRY6cKO?si=n3eyo1u7TPqvxWd8espGcA
Before I trained as a therapist I used to do 18 hour days in a commercial role. Ironically it's not that different, you get used to listening to what people want and need and trying to help them achieve what they are seeking. Like many of my clients, but not all, I did a full on job, alongside having kids and juggle kids alongside my work for a long time so I get the stresses and strains on individuals and couples.
It can be overwhelming trying to choose a therapist. A quick chat on the telephone before we meet is often a good place to begin. This gives a sense of who I am and might help you feel more comfortable about meeting me and working together. It's also a chance to get a sense of what you can expect. Therapy is really determined by a few factors, and absolutely fundamental to the outcome is not just your engagement, but the relationship built with your therapist. Being comfortable to talk, reflect and think about things that are often far from comfortable is part of the work. The way I work is to be a real human, which means I am capable of laughter as well as being there when you are struggling, and also when it's needed challenging you in a way that allows you to feel safe, and to think about the challenge with me.
We all have times when we don't want to know, see or hear things, but my motivation is entirely driven by experience. I cannot ask you to believe in something I don't and I don't believe in things unless I have seen or experienced them. What I have learned about therapy is it can be a waste of money or with the right combination of people, therapy can be a form of human alchemy and can create lasting evolution. This does not mean you will stop being a human, all your flaws will fall away and all relationships will be idyllic and without problems, but it can mean you feel more equipped to cope, understand yourself and others better and process situations more calmly . I am a massive believer that no-one else gets to define your self worth, our job is for you to know who you are, where you begin and end, and absolutely know innately what your value is.
I encourage people to pick up the phone and speak to me, because therapy is a relationship, you need to feel safe with me, comfortable to talk about uncomfortable things, and there needs to be trust, even if it's something you struggle with. It takes time, but don't be scared about that, I am not the therapist who wants you to still be working with me in a decade (unless that's what you want/need). I will always flag when I think we are ready to end our work.
Before I trained as a therapist I used to do 18 hour days in a commercial role. Ironically it's not that different, you get used to listening to what people want and need and trying to help them achieve what they are seeking. Like many of my clients, but not all, I did a full on job, alongside having kids so I understand the different pressures many of those I work with are under. Also I know what it's like to step out of a career that was a big part of my identity and start again. I am driven and focussed to help my clients end up in a place that feels better to them than where they began, and this approach is not just informed by hope and positivity but experience. I can't say something I do not believe, and I cannot believe something unless I have experienced it personally or witnessed it. I love what I do.
Like all UKCP registered psychotherapists and psychotherapeutic counsellors I can work with a wide range of issues, but here are some areas in which I have a special interest or additional experience.